Writing Logs: Take to Heart Book One

Collection of logs I've made during the initial creation of my comic 'Take to Heart' and the 3-month writing process of the final script. The text in parenthesis are post-commentary and context. There are no spoilers.

Beyya.

03/21/2020
Oh no, I started another comic. And people are loving it. And I love continuing it.
(Context: I made a short sort of joke comic of someone in quarantine befriending a ghost. It didn't start as a pilot comic, more so a one-off idea, but like all of the comics that I work on long-term, they start as a simple idea. The pilot comic: https://twitter.com/KerzidR/status/1241625868553695233

The reason I said "oh no" here is because I tend to have these comic ideas that I wanna go through with but most end up as another comic that I'll abandon months later.)

03/22/2020

The very first concept art of Beyya and Sanjay.

The funny thing about Beyya and Sanjay's Colors is that I just let my colorblindness take full control and I have no idea if their colors work or not if they're cohesive or even make sense I was gonna give Beyya monotone grayscale colors and Sanjay, red to yellow palette but... It just didn't feel right They don't look bubbly and alive as I imagined them to be from the comic. So canonically, Sanjay has orange hair and a yellow shirt but I like this palette a lot more. Beyya shouldn't even have colors but the blue-green makes her stand out more. She follows the look of the trope but has enough going on that makes her unique enough.
There are many ways I could take the story forward. I could continue to turn it into a wholesome love story with a guy and his ghost girlfriend. Or turn it into something dark and depressing about her backstory. At this point, I have to strike a balance with the reason people loved it in the first place alongside having deep-rooted lessons. 

There are some scrapped ideas. Beyya being his imaginary friend to help him cope with the isolation. Or his dead friend/sister/partner that he forgot about, etc. I found a healthy medium between wholesome and thought-provoking. And hopefully, it'll be just as good as the first chapter, or heck, even better.

(Which ended up being true. The story went deeper into its concepts, ideas, and messages. Moreso than I thought.)

The problem with me and having all these story ideas is that in most cases I see the potential but lose the passion in continuing. I think it has something to do with the story not having a cohesive format or not being whole. This just makes me want to add more and more scenes until I'm at the point where I have to transition back into wherever I needed to go but by then I forgot the main purpose of the story; happened with Tim. I had two conflicting goals for Tim; make it plot-based or make it topic-based. Topic-based works the most because then if I'm itching to make a comic about an idea, I could just write a short episode about it and be done. no need to transition or make sense. no continuity needed. Whereas plot-based, I have to keep track of all these events, what has happened and what is supposed to happen. I have to constantly read the previous episodes to make sure the pacing works and whatnot. Events leading up to another event make sense. 

Tim

What I've done is the worst possible thing for Tim. I tried to do both and now I have so many subplots that I never got around to finish; Julie's backstory, Tim's anxiety, Pillo, Riggs, Sophia Detective Plot. What I had in mind while I was writing those scenes is that I reveal parts of those plots over time through the topic based episodes in subtle ways. For example, let's say Tim is secretly a ghost. I would that he is. He's not touching anything, he's never hungry, he sometimes monologues about being alive, etc. I do that with the other subplots but in a not so successful fashion. I'm doing  it again right now with Self-isolation (Former name for Take to Heart)
It's not even done and I'm already drawing it. I'm piquing my interest when it's not even fifth done
Or it could be that if I hold onto the idea of this story for too long, I might lose interest in it

The pilot comic's title card

Right now, I think the whole premise has a lot to offer. I just have to take my time to craft the story to where I see fit. Although, I could see how I might be successful in doing this. When I wrote Active Sentience, I was entirely focused on the story. I went back and forth from scene to scene.
Fixing and adjusting. Even though the whole story was based on a dream I had, it felt like the most complete and cohesive story I ever wrote. No scene was unimportant. No filler, no nothing.
Because it had an idea. A goal. I knew where I wanted it to go from the start and I adjusted every part of the story to get there in the most natural way. The goal I had when writing that story was to capture the feelings I had during the dream while also captivating the audience as they read along.
Which means I had to keep some story elements ambiguous.
The more I work on Self Isolation the more I realize that I stopped doing things that made Active Sentience such a complete story. Complete rewrites of scenes, foreshadowing, mystery, character progression, etc. When I realized it, I immediately scanned the script of Chapter two and started looking through scenes.
"Is this scene important", "Why" 

Page 13 from the original pilot comic

"Why is Beyya making a smash joke important?"
To show a glimpse of her personality.
"Why are you showing so many scenes of them doing the same thing in a different context?"
To progress their relationship, to have some sort of leading up to upcoming events and have some room for some foreshadowing.
Active Sentience and The Reticent will be my prime example of cohesive storytelling
(These two don't quite hold up now compared to the finished script of Take to Heart)
Everything that happens leads to an end goal. I feel like I lost that mindset while writing some of my recent stories Upshot doesn't have a goal. It's just two people expressing their personality through scenes. And the whole plot twist doesn't even make sense without the context of Tim's story
Tim has a goal but I muddled it with so many trivial subplots that I'm stuck having to loosen all these knots.
( Link to Tim, Link to Active Sentience )

03/23/20

In the end, the only person I need to impress is myself. If I made a story with the mindset of making it for others then overtime the part that makes me want to continue dissipates. I was never making it for me, so I lost that reason to continue.

I made Active Sentience intending to retell the story of what I experienced in the dream that I had. I had a personal connection with the story, so of course, I'd be willing to put all my effort into making it good.

If this is making me cry, I sure as hell hope it'll make others cry too. I wonder if this is too sad
or too dark. It'll definitely contrast the wholesome tones of the first few scenes
(referring to a specific scene in the script)

I wonder if I should give Beyya teeth.

03/24/20
Sanjay's initial name was 'Jatt' but it didn't fit the mark. I had thought of a list with unique and cute names beforehand; So if I would make a character, I could just pick a name from it.
03/25/20
This is getting really really dark. I kinda love it. So far I rewrote an important scene several times and each time I do, I get closer to getting the right impact. And it just gets darker each rewrite.
03/26/20
This has been so much fun to write. Not just the dark stuff, of course, even the wholesome stuff
since the comic is about the pandemic, I do wanna tackle some topics related to it. Not all, even a few will do; racism towards starting area, out of touch wealth. the rich's benefits, being alone, staying connected, lack of awareness, and resource depletion.

04/01/2020
Made some significant progress. It's much more efficient for me to lay out what I want to happen and then write the story to get to those points naturally. And that those plot points all pertain to the main point.

Expression Test

Dark scenes to convey the sense of agency of the pandemic, Check!
Dramatic and heart-wrenching scenes for character and relationship progression. Check!
There are still chunks of the scripts missing to connect the scenes. I still have to work around polishing so that the pacing is clear-cut and straight forward. Every scene serving a purpose. Ironically, I've been doing a lot of the hard parts, but haven't been doing the really important easy parts. Well, not to say easy, but, relatively easy. The wholesome parts (character development focused) I've been so focused on the dark and dramatic stuff that, that I haven't been able to give the scenes that give contrast to these story impactful parts. Scenes that make you love these characters and make you feel more agency where their story is headed. The script is heading in a good direction. I was thinking of completely redoing it earlier just now but there was a spark of ideas that pushed me enough to continue with the current storyline.

Early concept art of their visual dynamic

Another problem with how I write is that; Instead of making a story and making the characters, I do the opposite. Characters first, and THEN the story. Which proves to be disruptive in the writing process. What I should do is: write the story I want to tell, make the characters that tell the story, and it kinda just writes itself.

04/02/20
Updated a scene with better dialogue. Now it's 3x more punchy. I was worried that the weakest part is going to be the conflict. But as I get it to a more complete state, It's starting to feel satisfying. Right now, I need to work on the rising and falling. I have the pieces, I just need to make more, and the right ones. 

The conflict is already impactful on its own but it can be MUCH more punchy with some needed scenes. You need a fairly tall stack of blocks to have a something topple hard. And the taller it is, the harder it is to build back up.

 Meaning, I should be careful with writing how the story can recover from the topple as well. How are these characters going to return or thrive from experiencing such a significant event in the story?

Right now, the script has almost 2000+ words. Not including the first chapter. It'll be long enough to last several chapters with each chapter being 80+ panels long. The first chapter has 385 words, basing it on that, and with the current total amount of words; there would be a total of 6 chapters, with 400 words each. But of course, the script is far from complete. I haven't even implemented the ending yet
nor how to get there.

Visual exploration concept art

One of the things I am very proud of in this story compared to my other stories is that they are coherently flawed. Both Sanjay and Beyya. You have the idea that they are somewhat morally just but with their negative traits to balance it. Not everyone is perfect after all, and you need that to have good conflict. When the flaws clash with one another and you're left with two people tunneled over each other's weaknesses. Another thing, When the scene does happen I want the readers to have the thoughts: "Why are they fighting", "Who's side am I on", "Who's right here?", "Is this person's actions justified right now?", etc. And as they fight, the reader goes back and forth with those thoughts coming up with their answers much like the characters.

04/03/20
Honestly, I just can't wait to punch people in the heart.

04/04/20
I'm thinking of making them platonic.
(I even made a poll to see what people think: https://www.strawpoll.me/19699190/r)

04/05/20
I had a breakthrough! I can't tell anything about it but it's about their state and I gotta say, I am very excited about the route I'm going. The poll results are quite interesting.
(This is referring to Beyya and Sanjay's relationship, and if they were going to be platonic or non-platonic. I ended up satisfied with a certain direction of their relationship that pertains to a lot of the goals I was trying to meet.)

04/06/20

I was thinking of only choosing one and she'll be wearing it for all chapters but I decided to turn it into a story element where she gradually wears comfier clothes.
(At early stages of the writing process, I barely knew what I was doing and almost had to rely on other's opinions, I had to make a poll for this as well: Poll)

Beyya's clothes concept art

04/07/20

I talk about narratology a lot in my work but in the end, I still have my limits as a writer. The end product will be expected as a corny and wholesome story about a boy and his ghost. (Which I don't think is the case anymore, given that I actively avoid doing what I don't like seeing in other stories.)

I shouldn't place my thoughts above and beyond that. I may be a perfectionist but I have to know the scope of my work. I'm not sure where my strengths as a writer lie, but I'll still try my best with all branches of the story. I already failed, and this can fail too. The important part is that I try harder each time.
(By this point I also did some surface-level studying on writing stories. I wasn't completely committed to finishing something just yet but I was still quite interested enough to make a guideline based on Andrew Stanton's TEDtalk and Kurt Vonnegut's tips for writing short stories. Which at the time, I thought this whole thing was just gonna be a simple short story will relatively low effort.)

1. Make a promise; Make the audience care. Hook the audience with something they can hold on to. Interesting circumstances? The path to a relationship? a complex set of rules waiting to be expanded? a character to root for on their way to triumph?

2.  Make viewers work for their meal; Give the audience the feeling of anticipation with uncertainty. There's always enough information for the audience to think of many ways the story is going but not enough to completely predict the actual events. The 2+2 Rule used commonly for story-telling. Much like what makes puzzles fun; give the rules, not the result. The audience should have ideas for interpretation so they can piece the full meaning of scenes themselves. 

3.  Characters have an inner motor, a drive that makes them themselves. Characters should always want something throughout the entire story.

4.  Add Good character arcs to your characters. With certain conditions are met in each plot point; see what your characters are made of with events that conflict their personality.

5. Scenes should only serve one of two purposes: advance the story or reveal a 

character. Start as close to the end as possible. Don't waste time. The pacing keeps the intrigue, and critical information adds to the suspense.

6.  Please one person, not everyone. A story is about capturing a specific event, feeling, message, an underlying theme, or an idea as accurately as it can. 

7.  Wonder. Give the story a sense of magic, a feeling in the back of the mind that touches the heart. Capture the feeling of being immersed and intrigued through story-telling.

(While, yes, these are all valid. They simply don't do much in teaching how to form the structure and heart of the story)

04/08/20

When working on a script, I work on it as if you would with an animation.

Start by the major poses (plot points), polish it, then create in-betweens(scenes) to transition them smoothly.
(This sounds ridiculous but it does make quite a bit of sense)

Not gonna lie, I miss being productive with the comics. Even though I was more focused on the quantity rather than quality. It still felt great that I was putting out something rather than nothing. Even though an uncomfortable amount of the stuff did not age well. Of course, now, I'll turn things around. Focusing more on quality. So I can put out something AND feel good about it afterward. 

04/11/20

I'm planning on finishing the entire script today, and hopefully, I actually do it. I already made a lot of progress from the last few minutes alone. Feels like I had some sort of eureka moment again. Also planning to rework chapter one so it goes along better with the rest of the script. One thing I'm struggling to do is to recapture the feeling of the first chapter. The friendly vibe it had, with undertones of sadness. I want to somehow double down on those feelings and not make it feel like a soap opera.
(I was severely unprepared to finish this script. I had the intuition that it's missing a lot and there's a lot to revise. The pacing is flimsy, the plot feels incomplete, and the character development is lacking. I didn't know what I know now at the time. And I had the sense that I didn't know what I was doing, I was always inclined to know what's missing. I didn't want to label it as finished until I get to the bottom of it.)

04/12/20

I did NOT finish the script but made significant progress. I noticed a significant flaw in the story that I need to address.
(This is referring to Sanjay's lack of character development and the several plotholes I didn't initially consider.)

Concept art of their dynamic outside the plot

04/14/20

I'm thinking that I might have been putting too much emphasis on the conflict more than the character development. Conflict doesn't always have to involve clashing or drama, it could just be unfortunate circumstances. I might cut down huge chunks of the script that impedes the overall story or rework them to the right tone I want.

(This is at the point I'm realizing that if I want to do this work justice, I have to focus on the quality of the story and not doing what I immediately want. I had to cut my darlings, as writers would say.)

04/15/20

Added a couple of scenes. I really want this arc to be over because the next one is where I am most excited about. Holy hell, from 385 words to 3080 words... Granted, I did change the format, but wow, I didn't realize how much I've been adding.

In the script, I have to make the characters as likable as possible while showcasing their flaws to make the hard-hitting moment pack a punch without sacrificing their personality. This is where I think a lot of stories mess up. They get bored with the character and change their motives mid conflict.

 I want the conflict to be earned, and not out of nowhere. And I think I'm doing ok with it. Mostly from learning from the failures of shows that mistreat character arcs. While doing this I also have to keep in mind the principles I've set. Show don't tell, advance the story, anticipation with uncertainty, etc. Hopefully, all the pieces connect and if the readers didn't get it, it'd be their fault, not mine.

(Currently. there are a total of more than 20 people that have read the script in its various stages. If anyone is going to recognize a plothole, it'd be them. As I am too focused on certain aspects of the story that some stuff might just fly over me. At this point, I haven't asked for help, but once I realized that I need other eyes in seeing problems I couldn't see, I started considering it.)

While analyzing the script during the refinement stage, I always give each scene a specific requirement. The phrase "I really really like this scene and it is integral to the plot" must always apply. I'm a huge fan of the fast-paced storytelling, straight to the point I did on the first chapter and I'm looking to continue that feeling throughout all chapters.
(It did not end up being fast-paced as it impedes some of the flow certain scenes need to have)

04/18/20

The prominent thing I learned from Tim is to never disregard character development. The benefit of the script being one cohesive thing is that everything can connect seamlessly by parts already co-existing. If I want to adjust one part, I can just rewrite other parts for it to still make sense. Unlike in Tim, where I had to retcon a lot of things because I couldn't keep up with all the subplots.
(I should have started with outlining but I didn't. It ended up not mattering but it did make it severely overwhelming and confusing.)

04/21/20

I work on the script daily but sometimes forget to change the filename

I wonder if it's actually imperative for me to work on the script in the right mood. I've been writing it at times when I am bitter and cold. Might be affecting some of the scenes, and maybe even how I perceive them. I even got to the point where I regard some of the wholesome scenes as filler considering they follow some needed narrative beats for pacing.
(I keep referring character development scenes as wholesome because that's how I only see them at this point. During this time, I don't fully see the importance of subtle story cues in crucial interactions between characters yet.)

Part of me wants someone to proofread this... To get a fresh perspective. That someone of course is willing to be spoiled but, I really wanna know if everything works. I've been stuck in my own bubble of thoughts, that maybe I'm missing something.
(Two people immediately volunteered.)

04/23/20

A consistent thing I've noticed lately is that, since I'm the one who wrote the script, I can really only see it objectively and never subjectively. I can't feel the feelings that the readers are supposed to feel anymore, I just rely on narrative beats and plot arcs. This impedes me from managing pacing and controlling the emotions the readers are supposed to be feeling.

I don't want it to be like Pixar where "This is the part where you should be sad"

I want that feeling to be earned. I want the sadness to come from the thoughts of the readers, that was built up from previous events.

04/24/20

Judging from the reactions of the proof-readers, I did exactly that. I don't think 3 is enough to prove a point though, but I'm happy enough with what they told me. I've been so worried about a lot of the aspects of the story that I forgot how much positive elements can severely outweigh the negative elements that I've been piling up in my head. I'll of course pertain to the criticisms they gave me and adjust the story accordingly. Mainly in regards to event consequences that I overlooked. Just a slight oversight. Could be considered a plothole, so better to fix it than leave it behind.

Part of me wants to change the ending to something else completely different. But then I'll be less flexible with what I can do in the next Book. Which I am definitely planning to make. So basically,

I have to pick between ending impact vs long-term flexibility.

Another goal I want to get right is the interpretations of the readers. I want it to be broad but I also don't want it to be super over-the-top. Where some story elements are left vague that the readers can't form anything cohesive. As I said, I'll be satisfied with the story's cohesion if it's the reader's fault they didn't get the story and not mine. That's why foreshadowing, leaving behind clues and important tidbits is very important in this sense. 

Gradual story-telling is important here, so it leaves room for the reader to form their thoughts as the story moves along. 

That's why I want to avoid exposition-heavy dialogue. I want the readers to take in information one step at a time. This goes hand-in-hand with anticipation with uncertainty. Instead of getting huge chunks of information in an unorganized timeline, they get little bits that feed their brain that is continuously trying to piece together what might happen next.

04/25/20
I am very VERY excited for Book Two.

04/26/20

I've been doing a lot of research regarding personality types. I can also consider the experiences I had with people, specifically kind-hearted extroverts. The studies I've been doing have been influencing how I'm going to write specific scenes.

Explorations of Sanjay's Hair

04/27/20

These criticisms are eye-opening. One, I'm not as bad as I think I am. Two, I really did have tunnel vision and forgot some parts of the story. Three, I didn't even realize the script isn't even done yet, there's a big fat hole in between the penultimate scene and the ending.
(There is a lot more than that one hole)

For the longest time, I've been thinking about the concept of giving my characters a voice. Next to animation, giving your characters a voice is one of the biggest factors in giving them life. Ofc that would require me to have the budget for auditioning and stuff. But one can dream.

Another thing that's been bothering me when rereading the script. Is how stiff some of the dialogue is. Feels like two robots going about their day.

"Are you going to the pool?"

"Yes, I want to go there because I want to swim."

instead of:

"You headin' to the pool?"

"Yeah! I wanna do some swimming!"

And some of the dialogue is too convenient. Some dialogue is just too obvious that it's there to advance the plot.

(This is the point where I got very cautious with how I deal with dialogue. The readers have said that it's too focused on getting the plot moving instead of feeling natural. Given this was the result of me wanting to make the story fast-paced, which ultimately impeded the flow rather than enhancing it.)

04/28/20
I'm still unsatisfied with some parts of the story. It's fine and sufficient as a whole. Everything connects and the plotline is solid. But I'm looking to enrich it by adding subtext, subtlety, and hidden inflections.

This might come off as a surprise but. The story doesn't have a single comedic scene. And that bothers the living hell out of me. There are some opportunities for humor in some of the scenes which I'm starting to find more and more evident. My goal right now is to enrich the experience of the story by adding much more characterization. So that it doesn't feel like you're reading a plot. I've been doing a lot of studying regarding supplementing and complementing scenes.

Beyya and Sanjay's story has a very prominent theme, but somehow I can't put it into words... Events are cohesively intertwined to accommodate said theme. But what exactly is that theme? It's proving a point that I can't outright muster into one thing. It's there but I can't explain it. I can't tell if this is a bad thing or a good thing.

(After a few hours of writing:)
There is now ONE comedic scene. I also spread some light humor in some scenes that feel somewhat flat. Gives it a bit of life and energy that it needed. I had fun writing a lot of the new stuff today. Hopefully, I can keep this up. I've also been studying A LOT in regards to writing characters.

Something I noticed is that, the more I look at the script as a whole, the shorter it feels. Even though it's meant to be a short complete cohesive story, I feel like it feels too short. I want it to be concise and yet I want to add more. It's as concise as it gets while making the most sense and expanding what it needs to expand. It's weird.

Oh hey! This didn't happen! In fact, I'm more immersed with these characters as time goes on:
"The problem with me and having all these story ideas is that in most cases I see the potential but lose the passion in continuing"

After the script is 100% complete. I have to work on the permanent art style for the series. An art style I can never get sick of is visually timeless and is flexible on all fronts. I don't want to set up limitations for myself as I did with UPSHOT. Where the art style is very difficult to pull off, takes a lot of time to produce each page and generally not even that visually appealing. I also have to design some characters. And yes, there are other characters. Other than our main lass and lad.

Right now it seems that the two scenes that are missing just need a bit of subtext. I know what I need to achieve, I just need to write them in a way that I'm not shoving what I want the plot to go into people's faces. And as mentioned before, I also need to fix some clunky dialogue using my enrichment system:

I got a big surge of ideas after studying a lot

I can't wait to finally say the word "done" in this channel and mean it.

I'm in the opposite situation now. Art-block but having a lot of fun writing

04/29/20

I think anyone can write a story that makes total sense. But what separates an okay writer and a great writer is subtext. You could make a character say "Let's be a couple" or you can skew the situation in a way that the scene says that but doesn't actually say it explicitly.

Boy: "Hey, what are you doing here? You don't usually go to a ball"

Girl: "I'm in the mood to dance, and I'm looking for the right partner to dance with"

Boy: "I hope you find him then"

Girl: "I was hoping he would ask me first"

This exchange showcases their personality without on-the-nose explaining their actual motivation. Dialogue is all about what isn't said as much as what it is saying. 

Our minds love to piece together puzzles and being fed information without a chance to make something out of it ourselves can make us feel like we're treated as a child or the characters just say things to move the plot forward in a robotic matter.

Unlike before. I'm more looking forward to perfecting the script rather than finishing it. I can't just speedrun this. Now that I realize how much more time I can put into making this as great as it can be, I have to make sure that I reach that. I'm putting a lot of effort into this and I don't want to look back at it like it wasn't worth it. High self standards and all that.

There's a scene that's been really bugging me. I either have to set up the story to make it work or remove it entirely. There's also a bunch of points where it kicks off too suddenly, and any amount of easing in won't make it even more sudden, which is a predicament.

(This is referring to the inciting event, which comes out of nowhere. I didn't think of a direct solution to this, I ended up directly fixing it by restructuring the entire script.)

My to-do list at the time.

Speaking of subtext, if you felt like that dialogue is still too simple, you can also subtext the subtext. Here's the same situation but to an even greater extent of subtlety:

Boy: You seem out of place

Girl: Felt like I needed to do something a little different. Something I'm unfamiliar with.

Boy: You're gonna need someone with the same thoughts as yours to last here for more than a few seconds.

Girl: Hmph. If I'm lucky, I don't have to look.

04/30/20

Goodness, I have a lot of concept art to make after finishing the script... Locations, characters...

Listing everything down feels overwhelming. But my goal is to bring out something that I'm going to be proud of. And that, I shall do.

The good news with the proofreaders is that I managed to mark off a lot of the problems the first batch noticed with the second batch. Such as things that happen before the big moment, and how some scenes feel rushed.

The least I want when editing the scenes is that I'd be doing more harm than good. A motto I have in regards to what I add and remove is...Don't aim for what people want, aim for what the story needs. People want Sanjay and Beyya to be happy and having a good time, but where else can that go?

Art is nothing without a little bit of cruelty

Completed Reviews of the script so far, summarized:

9/10 - Needs more heart!

9/10 - Some scenes are too fast or too slow!

8.5/10 - Needs more clarity!

7/10 - More foreshadowing and depth

9/10 - Fix some pacing issues! (timeskips, specifically)

7/10 - Deeper lore!

8.5/10 - More clarity!

8/10 - Emphasize emotional dialogue and climactic scenes!

8.5/10 - Clarify plot oversights

7/10 - Add more witty moments and smart dialogue, + harder-hitting feels

9/10 - transition their path to friendship in the intro a little better

(I feel relieved that I managed to tackle all these and fix them.)

All the concept art I had to make

There's a character in the story that is a likable unlikable character. And it's very fun writing their dialogue. Aside from Riggs (Tim), I never had a good opportunity to write likable assholes. One of the criticisms is a lack of emphasis on emotions and I'm using this character to deliver some more of it without changing crucial scenes.

05/01/20

Thinking of naming the comic "Take to Heart"
(I never elaborated on this on the original logs. The phrase "Take to heart" means 'taking something seriously' or 'live according to something', which started as something that is about the pandemic itself but I realize that it's starting to be less and less about the pandemic and more on the development of the characters. Which still heavily applies to the phrase. Beyya and Sanjay's arcs ARE the phrase "Take to Heart". The title is perfect. And it also summarizes a lot of the ideas I have for other books. It all just works.)

Going through a lot of the script again. The dialogue doesn't seem that bad after all. Albeit some of them could sound a bit more natural, but they all work. I had this plan of completely changing all dialogue with subtext.. but like... These two aren't talking like writers, they're talking like people... I don't wanna have to subtext "Pass me that controller"

The funny thing about this comic is that it started as a one-off joke.

 A ghost is the best roommate during a pandemic 'cause they can't get sick! That's it. That's the joke. She spooks him and they become best friends. Bam. The Perfect Roommate. The final story and the one-off didn't even NEED to explain that concept because it was so painfully obvious. Over time I started inadvertently brainstorm ideas for their interactions and how I could expand their story. A ghost roommate has been done to death, so how can I do mine any different? With a message? a unique tone? a modern take? grounded to current times? All of the above.

Plus I get to put on my own flavor into the mix. My style of "comedy" and story-telling.

05/02/2020

There's still no huge haha moment in the script, just a bunch of hehe moments.

Concept art of an unnamed side character. (Who is now Lyline!)

05/03/2020

Right now, for Book Two, it only has the beginning and the end. Everything else is still up to brainstorming. Theme and message are mostly the same. Book one is so close to being done. I have a bunch of random book two scenes compiled together. On their own they don't mean anything; they're borderline filler. But using them as a means to move the plot can be beneficial.

I wonder if all the other human + ghost stories I made have helped perfect the dynamic. There's Tim and Julie, Norman and Agatha, and another one but I lost the script because I wrote it on some crumbly paper that someone must have thrown out.

One of the panels of a scrapped ghost story from last year.

I never released the comic, and it got deleted in the hard drive format. It was about a spoiled girl and her ghost friend that she abuses to get what she wants: Exam answers, gossip, etc. The ending was that the ghost was actually her best friend that saved her from a fire, but not actually because it was all a dream from her coma and they actually both made it. She wakes up to him sitting next to her bed

Throughout her journeys, she learns how to be nicer to people, and when she woke up from the coma, she made sure to be much nicer and apologize to people she had ever wronged. I'd love to redo this story if I had the script. But right now, my main focus is Beyya and Sanjay. (sometimes I dabble on writing and finishing UPSHOT's story but I'm currently stuck on having to retcon some lines in the comic)

Note to self: never foreshadow something in a story that directly contradicts your vision.

Thinking of adding some implied underlying lore.

"Beyya"

Even made my own language and everything... But the thing is... Does the story need it? I'm kinda just adding it for more lore depth. Whatever that means.

05/04/20

Hmmm.. Book two has more "YES YES YES" and "NONONO" moments. Book one has conflict but it doesn't have enough anxiety-inducing and gratifying moments... Which is unacceptable. It's more like.. "No..." or "Cool!" After watching Uncut Gems, which had a lot of anxiety-inducing moments,

I feel like I cheated myself with the lack of those moments. The ones where you just grit your teeth or make you say "COME ON COME ON COME ON" I could even go as far as to say the story feels flat.

, or maybe it's because I've read it so many times, even tho the readers said that the story is solid.

Come to think of it, when I first wrote the conflict scene, I remember being excited about it. So perhaps I just got jaded reading the same scenes so many times. This situation happened a lot in Tim. I've written so many episodes but only 1/5 of them make it into the comic. I lose interest in my own stuff really quickly, and I mentioned this very early on. Luckily, I made the two main characters, Beyya and Sanjay, likable, and relatively deep characters. Right now, there's nothing much to gather from the pilot comic. Beyya is a ghost that enjoys the company. Sanjay plays a lot of games and is not scared of ghosts.

That's pretty much it.

(This is after I watched movies such as Uncut Gems where if you haven't seen it, there's a scene in which the stakes are at their highest and you're scrambling to imagine how everything will end.)\

My primal instincts want me to give Beyya short hair and I have to consistently resist.

(The workaround this is to give her hair symbolism that the story never elaborates upon. It's just there and you have to figure out why it's happening)

Book cover mock-up

Been studying a lot more on story structure and resonance and it makes me want to combine Book One and Book Two. Book One already stands well on its own but... Book Two is where a lot of the meat is. Or maybe... I could just make it into it's one big thing. I have to reevaluate this decision through several factors though. It could result in story refactoring. I don't want to get ahead of myself. I don't want to be like that specific person that just does things because it sounds cool in his head.

It's probably due to my lack of self-care but I kind of lost track of what made Book One special. I get why it's good: The message, the character arcs, the solid plotline but... Nothing really in there makes me proud of it. Other than it's cohesive and it works. It's really weird. I still want to finish it though.  It's like a slope I can never get across, the closer I get to finishing Book One, the more I wanna perfect it.

To emphasize that point, I kept on thinking of new endings. And I just thought of one just now that makes sense in the context of the story + it punches a lot harder. Technically I could just implement that ending in a less punchy way while still keeping the original ending. I already did this with the other ending that would have removed a lot of the flexibility I have moving forward

I'm been solving these conundrums by writing around it but... I feel like I've been doing them in a much too convenient fashion I don't know. I really should stop working on the script while in a terribly horrible mood. Might be messing on how I see things.

The current ending is gratifying, makes sense, and meets the personalities of the characters but... It still feels somewhat unsatisfying... It makes the reader feel left out. And honestly, it makes me feel the same way. Endings shouldn't always have to be black and white of course. It neither has to be happy or sad. It can be in the grey area. Does it also have to be punchy? Would the resolution to the conflict count as the ending, or is the last scene the ending...?

I have mixed feelings with my high standards. On one hand, I'm aiming for quality. I want to be proud of what I make. On the other hand, the perfectionist mindset is impeding in a lot of ways. I'm too hard on myself. If I don't immediately write the perfect scene, I get mad. But suffice to say I want to break out of those habits. I take breaks and look at different perspectives. At least, I'm doing a lot of good being able to see what I suck at. And maybe I don't have to be as good as I imagine myself to be.

Sometimes I get desperate in putting in that "This is where you go WHOA" moment that I completely neglect my principles. I am making this for myself, and if it's not making ME whoa, I'm certain that I'm failing in some aspects. If only I have the ability to forget the entire story just so I can experience it as a viewer. I see scenes more like a story beat rather than people going through events in their life. It's not a great feeling.

Simplified visualization of the reviews

05/06/20
This list gets longer more than it is getting shorter.

At the time, I was overwhelmed, but it all ultimately helped me knowing what I've been doing wrong.

Studying a hefty amount on stories makes it feel like my draft was written by a kid.

(This is when I realized how much I didn't know about stories.)

05/08/20

Right now I'm halting all work on the comic script so I can come back to it with a fresh mind. Even studying storytelling makes me want to edit it a bit. I'm just taking a small break to practice some self-care, do I need it right now.

05/09/20

My favorite critics are those that say a lot. it's indicative of their passion in improving the story.

05/11/20

The script is literally done, except for one scene and some slight revisions, but for some reason, there's a wall in between me and getting it done. I'm thinking it's because I've been treating it more like work instead of a passion project. I've been wanting to start drawing the darn thing.

(It was, in fact, not literally done. Far from that, even. It had huge chunks of the narrative arc missing, and some parts of the story weren't elaborated much.)

05/12/20
Decided to move to Word from notepad. Apparently, notepad has this neat little feature where it locks you out of editing after exceeding 45KB. At least now I feel more professional.

Look how neat that is.

05/13/20

Stats about the script so far: 7,560 words. 794 sentences.

Reading time is estimated to be about 20 - 30 minutes

05/15/20

Even though I only need to convey a single thing in a scene which is to reveal a plot point, I manage to take the opportunity to add more depth and nuance in it.

I didn't have to but from the reviews and from what I'm feeling; it needed something more punchy. What if the story covers something completely unexpected but still pertains to the main theme? What if it covers a lot of unexpected topics? Topics that would resonate with people if they haven't already been resonated with the main theme. 

I have this mindset that if a theme isn't catching someone's attention, the story isn't doing a good job exploring the scope of it. There are many branches and paths to explore in a theme, why not explore most of them if not all?

Exploring a theme doesn't just mean going over what it and you can cover, but also going against your own personal views. Resonance comes from the author being honest and pushing their beliefs. If I were to preach my beliefs in the comic, it would feel forced. It would remove the suspension of disbelief because it would feel like it's just me telling my opinion through a comic. Everything should feel natural, and nature in itself is balanced. And through stories, our viewpoints must be balanced as well. A theme isn't there to convince, but rather to open one's mind to the other ends.

Gamer Ghost

05/16/20
I always love seeing non-linear story-telling. Movies like Memento and The Prestige made me love the unorthodox formats of telling a story. When you know the rules, you get the opportunity to surprise people with how you can break them. In the case of Memento, the main plot goes backward and the flashbacks go forward. In The Prestige, the future hints at the events of the present and the present hints at the events of the future.

I've experimented with this narrative device. In The Reticent and Active Sentience. Where scenes from each timeline make you piece together the happenings of the other end. Most would think mysteries are more intriguing with fewer clues. But I would think that a mystery gets more interesting when you can feel yourself almost being able to solve it but your perception changes with each new clue.

Using this method of story-telling is tricky but fun when you pull it off right. It can give this feeling of knots, slowly untangling as you venture forth. "What does this tell us?" "What did we learn from this scene?" "Did a character change from revealing the past?" You answer questions by letting people answer it themselves. This pertains to the 2+2 rule. The non-linear story-telling gives the readers a chance to understand the story themselves in a natural way. Not being spoon-fed with information. Just being told stories that enhance other stories.

05/17/20
Thinking of making each book more mature and dark each entry. Until it eventually deals with topics that would result in an age restriction. Such as that Book one is very tame and can be enjoyed by all. Still dives into some sensitive stuff in a safe and digestible way. But the rest dive deeper, exploring more of the nuances of the themes. Every time I brainstorm I always thought of lessons or scenarios that hit home but may not reach its potential if I dumb it down for better understanding.

The themes in the comic are there but it might lack that punch that it needs. I have to put more depth into the conflict and theme without adding unnecessary elements. Subplots and obstacles would help to raise the stakes or to explore more of the scope of a theme but again, how much is too much? Wouldn't saying less be more? If I want to make a theme about how lying is bad, I'd have to still show you that it can be good. It's not about forcing a perception but rather exploring it.

Typically a novel can get away with multiple subplots that pertain to the theme or to add thematic depth to the conflict, but in the context of a short story, it could be more of packing in the necessary and crucial story elements in digestible scenes without feeling like fodder. 

Subtext helps a great deal but to an extent. You can't always pack multiple meanings into one scene, it must always feel natural and organic.

05/18/20
I feel like everything I've said makes it look like the story is gonna be super complex and unique when in reality it's really just a story about a ghost girl and a human boy. Even I make myself think that the story is supposed to be complex with all that I've said. I heed to what I say but that doesn't mean I should expect something grand and amazing. I mainly say it all here to note down what I could be doing better or what I've been doing wrong. In the end, I note these thoughts to see how much I actually try. And I've always wanted writers to note their thoughts as they write. "Why did they write this instead of this" "what's the significance of this scene" "what was the thought process of that"

05/21/20
I think that I've been putting too much restriction on what scene serves a purpose and what does not. It doesn't always have to be about the plot. Maybe that's why a lot of it feels stiff. There needs to be those natural human moments in between. But of course, that doesn't justify their existence, I'd have to think of a reason that scene needs to be there. Some scenes could feel like total filler but it's doing a lot for the plot than you'd think. Much like in Age of Ultron, there's a scene where the Avengers try to lift Thor's hammer for a comedic scene. But it wasn't just a comedic scene. It was there to foreshadow the twist of another character being able to lift it without a second thought.
(I added a purely character-driven scene that subtly reveals character traits and foreshadows upcoming scenes while also giving the story a sense of natural flow)

05/24/20
Right now I'm adding more wit, charm, and heart by adding character-driven scenes. It's also a great way to slow down the pacing after intense scenes, or to ease in for another one. Writing characters being rude is starting to be fun...

Also, I noticed that in every really good story, there's something to learn aside from the message of the theme. Practical stuff. And what better way to have fun with making people learn other than doing some research myself. I always love it when I learn something new I didn't know I wanted to know. So I figured I'd put that element in the story in a way that makes sense.

05/26/20

Trying to write witty and meaningful dialogue without sounding preachy is a slippery slope. On one hand, you can give your readers insight into a certain subject, but you can also make them feel like they're being shoved a particular point of view.

Significant chunks of the script required me to do multiple research on psychology, which I didn't expect. If I want to nail a message and a theme right, I have to know what I'm dealing with here.
I always fall into these rabbit holes of research. Finding out stuff I wouldn't even begin to think about. Successfully harnessing that feeling I felt and integrating it into the story might prove to give more thematic depth.

I've also been dealing with writing a belief that can be understood and relatable but is ethically wrong. Like a part of you wants to support this seemingly unorthodox way of thinking or mindset but you don't because it is fundamentally wrong. Hopefully, I've written it in a way that the readers can dive deep into its nuances on why it's wrong and why it can be right.
If not, then it would be at least something they can empathize with. Something they've already felt.
I've added two huge scenes in the script that satisfies a lot of the goals I've been meaning to fulfill.

Scenes that are fully character-driven that also tells you a lot of where the plot is going and where they lay currently in their arc to either redemption or further away from it.

The scenes fulfill the goal of reaching a certain level of maturity when it comes to writing the story or even reading it. In Tim, the messages felt very forced in. There's barely anything from the other side to balance it out. In this one, I want the messages to feel conflicting. Eye-opening. Something that isn't clear-cut; something you yourself have to think about It's not about the case of which one is right, its more-so about how the two are right in their own way.

Someone who reads a lot of books and novels pointed out that the script lacks punch and impact. I really need to change up a lot of what I would consider good.
(This prompted me to figure out what would an avid book-reader normally expect from a good book)

05/27/20
I keep thinking the script is nearly done but I keep finding all these fundamental story flaws. I need to rework a lot of scenes. I've been blind-sided by how cohesive the story is that I never focused on its subjective impact. I also lack a lot of critical story elements that I've been neglecting.

No wonder I've been dissatisfied with a lot of the story. There's a lot of things missing. A lot of important parts. And a lot of important story aspects. I'm still learning, and the fact that I want this story to be perfect means I'll always want to learn.

Lots of studying...

Funny enough, Sanjay started as a very flat one-dimensional character. But I did exactly what I wanted. To make him an actual person. Some of his goals contradict his beliefs, and some traits go against others. He's not a perfect person but he justifies his reasons with his flawed point of view.

Beyya is mostly the same throughout development but with a lot more emotional weight and depth, which I also didn't expect. I thought the first iteration of her was enough, but I was wrong. She's turned into this deep and flawed character with an aura that won't let you look away. She's someone you'd want to root for, and most of the time, you're not fully sure why.

I've been thinking about the concept of conflict all wrong. It's not an event, it's a part of the story that is present throughout. This misunderstanding gave the script a feeling of lack of stakes and tension. 

There's nothing concrete to look forward to, just the assumption that there is. I'm a bit stuck here, seeing as I put a lot of the major story elements in the wrong areas. It all makes sense cohesively but not chronologically.

It's not that the plot, story, and theme is boring, it's more so the way I executed it. Right from the start, the readers don't know what to expect, only what they want to expect. And that isn't enough. I have to tell them what to expect in a subtle way.

The biggest mistake I made so far is not outlining or strictly structuring the story. While all scenes serve a purpose, I won't be able to tell which scenes are surplus or which are missing. I could argue that ALL the right scenes are there, that it all forms a solid plot. While that may be true, it still leaves a lot in the scenes, content, and purpose-wise. Every time I learn something new, I realize how much I've been failing. But I suppose that is the path to perfection.

05/28/20

The topic of the conflict in B&S is something I've been meaning to tackle. It's something a lot of people subconsciously think about too. But I wouldn't have picked it if I myself don't experience this specific feeling. And I've been studying a lot on the topic so I can have more scope and explore in greater depth.

I kinda shot myself in the foot making the entire comic only take place in one single setting.

The whole point of visuals is to give you something exciting, new, and grand. But the entire comic is just set in an apartment. Well, mostly. Either way, the readers are going to be starring at the same walls, the same set of props most of the time. I could write around it but it's all just visual flair. But still, variety is important for stimulus. I suppose have some ways to spice it up with colors. Even so, it's still the same crummy apartment. 

(This is before I watched 12 Angry Men, a movie that takes place in only one room. It thrived by the use of varied personalities and a somewhat dynamic plotline)

05/29/20
Ok so, about this cute little comic:

"The Clown"

It took me 2 days, roughly a total of 12 hours to make. This was to test the art style I could muster that focuses on quality. Even with all the efficient methods I used, it still took me two days to make two pages. And B&S is a very very long comic. My equipment really isn't fit for comics and animation. It's unreliable, it's frustratingly sluggish and sometimes it takes a while to start working, which leaves a stain to my motivation before I even start drawing the frickin' thing.

05/30/20

A principle that I follow with all my stories is being emotionally honest. It keeps me grounded to the confines of the story and it also lets me show readers a part of myself in a genuine way. I always love stories where writers put their emotions into the story in an honest way, makes you see the humanity and the passion put into telling the tale. Whereas a lot of movies that are meant to earn money and be churned out quickly follow a guaranteed formula and have a script with no soul.

I wonder if I'm making my characters too unlikeable or irredeemable in some scenes or make them appear realistically broken and confused. How far is too far...?

05/31/20
Thinking of restructuring the entire script.
(This is when I realized how off the mark I was with the progression of character arcs. At the time, I figured it shouldn't be a big deal. But I've come to realize that this is the root of the problem. The reason why the pacing always feels off.)

06/01/20
The main natural conflict (the pandemic) has not aged well. But it's still integral to the plot and other messages and themes in the story make it more than just about the pandemic. Still, the impact is significantly lower.
(Which, it shouldn't necessarily have one at all. That isn't the point.)

06/02/20
I have this conundrum. While I want Book one to be perfect, I also want to get it done as soon as possible. I've learned a lot and I want to apply all of it to Book Two. Book two is very simple and short, very plot-focused, and character-driven. It's basically a test run of my writing capabilities. Unfortunately, the novelty of a lot of the story factors have almost worn off and I'm just ready to move on to the next story idea. Book one is very limited to what I can do because it's an introduction to Beyya and Sanjay's story. It stands on its own fine, you don't even need to read Book two. The stakes are high and the tension is there. That's the point of me wanting to make it perfect, so I can stop working on it. And not perfect because I want to be done with it. Perfect because it lives up to its full potential. There's no area it didn't explore within the scope of its story.

06/03/20
I've been clinging onto the first few scenes of the script that I'm just at lost as to how to change them. I'm satisfied with the later parts of the story but the first chapter feels so disconnected from the emotional journey of the rest. I really do need to let go of my darlings, and start fresh. I just have to believe that I can make a hook that isn't reliant on external references.

Once Beyya stopped being a "cute ghost" and started being a character, all the remains of the former start being evident.

A screenshot of most of the script's pages.

Before this, I frequently wrote very cliche and fan-servicey scenes because it was my comfort zone. Focusing hard on this story made me want to try new things and challenge myself. It's been a thorough learning experience. And this is just the beginning. As I keep writing more stories, the more I move out of my comfort zone. I'll start to expand my scope and increase my potential.

06/15/20

Expression test for penultimate scenes

06/17/20
I've been neglecting the intro of the script but now I found a way to give it the heart and care it deserves. The old intro had numerous problems. It didn't hook and it didn't even introduce the personalities of the characters. The intro was something I thought I got perfect but was actually impeding a lot of the pacing and the story. Right now I'm doing a bit of studying on what to do and what not to do. Obviously, you need to introduce characters but I executed in a way that feels rushed and felt like "hey these are the characters, have fun"

06/19/20
The script might be done? I don't know what else to add or to rework. The perfectionist in me wants to check every nook and cranny but my guts say it's basically done. There might be some pacing issues left to revise but now it feels complete.
06/20/20
Nevermind there's still some stale dialogue left and some opportunities to add charm.

06/21/20
I repeat this a lot but I'm aiming for a great sense of balance on characters being likable and unlikeable. Make them feel human instead of someone you should root for or be against. There are no wrong sides, only human sides. Everything is morally grey. One person might side more with one character than the other and different opinions may arise. One thing's for certain, it won't be black and white. No one is the bad guy and no one is the good guy. People do what they think is right, even if it's just for themselves. It's not selfish for them, it's healthy.

As most stories would tell you, everyone is the hero of their own story.

Right now in regards to the script, I'm looking for holes to patch and places where I could put story-driven and character-driven charm. If it feels boring, I cut it or I fix it. Somehow I'm still finding more about stories. It just won't stop. I thought I'd be done with it this month but looks like I'll working on it for the long haul.
I'm also looking to deepen the characters by adding layers to their inherent character truths and lies. Giving them glimpses of potential once they stop believing in the lie they desperately wanna be in. People have their comfortable lie they just wanna keep coming back to. And the truth will always hurt. But it certainly without a doubt, will set you free.

06/22/20

Wouldn't it be funny if the side characters are more charming than Beyya and Sanjay?

06/23/20

I never gave it a thought that the comic actually didn't start as a story I wanted to write but rather something I feel like I could write for people. Which in itself isn't necessarily a bad thing but to be fully into the creation of a story, it must be a story that I want to be made. 

B&S's story didn't start as one but I eventually made the characters representative of stories I want to tell. Feelings I want to convey. Messages I want to tell. Conversations I want to be made. And not just within the story but with people who are reading them. Fantasy is just another way of telling the harsh reality. 

You can't have a story without aspects of humanity in it. A story about aliens will still contain struggles any human can sympathize with. Just as how Beyya may not be human but what's stopping her from becoming your best friend?

06/24/20

I think the worst thing I've done in regards to writing Book One is that I stopped writing scenes that excite me. Stuff that gets my gears going. I'm coming back to that again whilst also not being self-indulging. I want to make exciting and necessary scenes. I want to write scenes that make people go "Oh so that's what that was for!" 

I wanna write the unexpected. I wanna write the intriguing. The charming. The fun. Scenes that give wonder and awe! It doesn't even have to be a huge spectacle with stuff flying around everywhere, it'd just be... heart-touching. Anything that'll make people go "Wow." 

I doubt that my skill is up there yet but I want to feel like I'm able to get there and that I've already started being able to make those types of scenes. I need to write like I want it not because I need it. I want to impress myself.

Side characters concept art

Lyline

Sanjay and Lyline

Lyline's phases concept art

07/02/20

I like being able to showcase personalities just from simple interactions

07/06/20

The funny thing about writing a story is that most of the time, the beginning will be the last thing you'll write because the heart of the story is the conflict and the ending. Since I was mainly a novice at the time, I started the beginning of the story first, not knowing it would impede how I'd set up the tone and pacing. Now that I've actually formed the heart and skeleton of the story, I'm able to write the beginning properly. Knowing how the story will end let's me be able to write it in a way that when the reader rereads the entire thing, they'll notice things they wouldn't have thought to notice.

Had to restructure a lot of the script to fix hefty pacing issues.

I keep validating the script as something complete. While I can say that it has all the parts to fulfill a cohesive story, it doesn't feel like I've assigned and placed them all correctly which resulted in me configuring a lot of the pacing and the overall story structure.

Funny how I actually wanted to finally draw the first page of the comic and somehow found a huge flaw in the script. It's fascinating how much I can still fix

And how I keep finding them whenever I feel like its at it's most "finished state"

The concept of a protagonist is pretty ambiguous in the story. And that ambiguousness offers a lot of complex ways of handling character and story arcs. Such as that events contribute to an interwoven telling of events. While there's not a discernable true protagonist, the readers are allowed to assign them themselves for who they root for. Who's helping who here? Who's the story for?

Now that I've added a lot of scenes that could drive a complete story, I'll just have to make sure to assess the story in a way that has them correctly. This means filling in the gaps and removing clutter. All scenes technically have a purpose in a general sense but I have to give them specialist roles that fulfill a part in the story arc. Such as that events are assigned to plot points.

Instead of doing what I've been doing of vague objectives in storytelling, I have to tighten the pacing by strictly giving scenes objective purpose.

07/13/20

Funny thing is, working on this story raised my standards for releasing story-based content high. So if I were to update any of the "ongoing" comics, it'd take a while as I would carefully assess and structure story beats and arcs. It's weird. Usually, with the webtoons, I'd just do whatever my gut says. But now that I'm aware of all these things about stories and character development; I just could never go back to the old ways. I always want to be proud of my work, and doing what I did back then is just not gonna cut it. Even though, I made those comics with the sole purpose of just me telling what I feel without a barrier or a filter of trying to make it better for everyone else. Now that my head is full of story theory knowledge, maybe my gut would be less chaotic?

Maybe I'm able to write without having to retcon unorganized story-telling (Tim)

07/18/20

Looking to find ways to add more non-forced funny moments in the story.

I'd love to start drawing the pages right now but I'm in one of those experimentation moods where I just frick frack around brushes and art styles.

My to-do list for the script has become significantly shorter, to the point I can just say I'm done. And I really do feel like I'm done. And yet, when this happens, I somehow find a big thing to fix. Of course, the more I fix, the less I'll be able to fix, right? There has to be a limit to this.

07/21/20

The plot went a completely different direction than what I had anticipated. And for the better, I suppose. I try to avoid cliches as much as possible. 

As a writer, I'm also the reader. And as a reader, I'm expecting a lot from the story. The writer side of me doesn't want you to have what you expect, that's not my job. I want the story to go in a way where not going towards a cliche isn't a disappointment but rather an opportunity to offer something better.

 I once read a story about depression but it had lots of cliches and the expected and I wondered if it could have been done differently. The cliches were distracting rather than fulfilling to the theme and plot. I wanted my own story to avoid cliches without giving the same feeling of distraction where it goes the opposite direction "Where are the cliches? Is it purposefully trying to avoid them" Instead it falls under natural storytelling where you don't look for cliches because it didn't preface itself to offer it.

07/30/20

Right now, the script has 100+ pages with around 14k words.

It's been a wild ride. I had a lot of fun learning and writing. And I hope reading these logs will spark something in you to start writing. I started with a lot of doubt and turmoil and ended up with a bigger passion for writing. As Beyya would say: "It's never too late to learn"

Cover Art.