The Coarse Curse Logs Part 1

Much like Take to Heart, I write down my thought process while outlining and working on the story. I want to consolidate these writing logs from scattered notes into one proper place, so here's a compilation of them.

Obviously, don't read these if you're planning to enjoy the story organically, without external influences.

May 22, 2023 - Character Design Foundations


Character design is such an intricate thing. When you properly make a character, you don’t just go, “I’m gonna make them unique.”

No. That doesn’t mean anything. If you go for that, then you’re just doing what other people who are going for “unique” are doing. What you need to go for is something that will inevitably create something unique.

Go backwards. Your story can be unique. Use your story. What part does your character play in your story?

Personalities are unique as well. Use personality and their role in the story to create the character. What does that personality look like? What would someone with this story and personality appear as? Look at these two, for example. From the scenes they have and their personalities, you would be able to infer their character design motifs. Agoro looks like an “atypical, unconventional love interest,” and Leah looks like a “childhood friend, conventional love interest.”

Obviously, tropes and archetypes exist for a reason, but don’t lean on them too much or it’ll be too on the nose. Put your own twist on it, not just visually, but in everything. Like a mentor character who actively doesn’t want to teach, like Peter B. Parker.
A love interest who doesn’t want to be a love interest, like Megara.
Maybe a villain who doesn’t enjoy being a villain, hmm, like Megamind.

Combine tropes, maybe.
Scientist princess, like Princess Bubblegum.


June 8, 2023 - Patterns in Romance

There was a point where I used to watch a lot of romance movies by coincidence. I started seeing some sort of pattern. I lined this pattern up with romance webtoons I was reading at the time and it seemed to match. Overtime over the years I refined this pattern. Though I never used it, I still find the observation fascinating. It stayed in my mind and in my notes.

Fast forward to now; though it seems valid for me to finally use this pattern format, I should still verify it.

Not only does it line up with movies and comics, recently I noticed that it lines up with certain other format studies as well. but not all of them and not perfectly

I have to, of course, address the elephant in the room. Needless to say, despite prevalent patterns forming in romantic media, nothing beats first-hand experience. People who’ve experienced some sort of mutual connection, even platonic ones, can also notice some sort of pattern. You meet someone, you share interests, a bond is formed, and you keep strengthening it until you have this perception that they like you back and that you like them a lot.

Weirdly, this is where the complicated magic of trying to make something coherent and complete comes in, when dealing with something as complex as forming an entire relationship. You have to actively quantify and label the process of a relationship blooming in order to tell a story.

Most romances fall flat because they don’t understand the core concept of what they’re dealing with and just follow a format. Sure enough, people notice this tired format, and these movies fall flat.

Then there are movies like Bones and All, Licorice Pizza, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and especially Before Sunrise, movies that understand the primary theme, the one that might sound cheesy in words: “Love conquers all,” and execute it without you ever even thinking of those three words.

They may share the same overall theme, but go in their own format, which breaks the mold, even if just slightly. Even a romance as unconventional as Better Call Saul follows everything I’ve said.

And then there’s also the pitfall of making romances too happy. If you ever want to make people care about two other people, you have to make them as vulnerable as any other human being. Make them resonate. That’s why every romance has to have that moment of weakness, a moment of change. If you start them off happy and already quick on their way to success, then what is there to root for other than “good for you”?

I should really say that the guidelines and methods I share here, whether about story or art, are very much unnecessarily in-depth. If a writer enjoys something the way they make it, they should keep doing it. I mainly share these because they are my own steps closer to what I want as a perfectionist. A writer doesn’t need the most resonant characters. A writer doesn’t need the most thoroughly written subtext. Fun comes first. And if a writer enjoys perfecting their craft, I’d like them to join me on this journey. If not, it can still be a fun read and an insight that might help along the way. It is still up to each writer whether to follow these guidelines, because they are not rules. Everyone learns their own way. I’m just sharing mine in hopes that it might help a writer get to where they want to be faster.

Right now, in the very early stages of writing episode three, I’m just writing down random scenes for brainstorming and feel. It’s also nice as storage filler, where if you can’t come up with a scene that conveys a feeling, you can always just grab from there, if the piece fits.

Do not use these scenes if you know you can come up with better ones.

The initial draft scenes are pretty much like concept art, exploring what the characters can do and the what-ifs. And like concept art, it’s easy to get attached to one, not realizing you can just think of a better one later.

April 23, 2024 - Organic Storytelling

I haven't properly written a whole scene in quite a while now that I forget that I have to conjure entire interactions out of thin air. I remember now that it's like exponentially much easier to write scenes when you actually have a conclusion in mind for all of it. like each scene is just a puzzle piece for the ending so it kinda just writes itself, which made it easy to create and remove scenes from the first episode of TCC and the entirety of Take to Heart

It's also a little bit harder to write scenes for a character who only just started to get their footing; their cornerstone. Like a lot of you already know Beyya and most of her cornerstones or at least implied ones. it's easy to just follow her intended path.

I should really stop doing implied endings and go for definitive endings instead but there's fun in scenes you're seeing now dictating the ending later than endings dictating the scenes (which is what you're supposed to do). 

I suppose I value having fun with creating who my characters are on the fly rather than creating perfectly cohesive stories. It makes it feel a lot more organic. I kinda lost that with take to heart -- making it too perfect 

April 28, 2024 - Leah


There's an odd thing that happened with the entirety of The Coarse Curse that shouldn't have happened in the first place.

I felt guilty that Leah got introduced as a character but never got actual scenes, because she was not supposed to be part of the main arc; the story was supposed to end with EP1, focused solely on Fiyo and Agoro.

But over time, I've honed in on her core character and main plotline; she wasn't supposed to matter when it was supposed to end at EP1 but now that I got attached to the characters enough to warrant two more parts, I gave her light to shine bright as her own character with her own arc.

The part that's putting me in a bit of a dilemma now is that I wonder how tight and focused the story would've been if I just only continued with Fiyo and Agoro's relationship, with the story is ONLY zoomed in on the blossoming of their romance

How special could I have made it if I didn't feel guilty for Leah missing out on being a full character?

If I'm being honest, the story is still not done. I only have a general idea for the ending and everyone's character arcs. I could pull off both the super sweet and intimate dynamic of Fiyo and Agoro and a very intriguing plotline for Leah

I'm confident I can do it. If the abundance of praise I got for EP1 isn't enough to push me forward, my passion for continuing this really sweet and resonating story will. 

May 7, 2024 - Romance as Character Arcs

I wonder if I'm disproportionally better at writing romance than I think I am. Romance is basically just character writing in its core-- with the benefit of the dynamics between two people. The two help each other out in self-discovery through foil and differences; a sort of self-regulating negative feedback loop. One sees the flaws through eyes of another. They try to turn each other perfect for themselves respectively and there's a whole drama around that. One thing's for certain is that I have a lot of fun writing character arcs and growth and a lot of that stuff happens in romance so it's basically just an up in difficulty and complexity.

At least in doing romance properly and give it the respect of nuance; You can easily write romance only on the surface level just as the same you'd label action to someone doing something cool.

It's always strange to label oneself as creative but you'll see it clearly when you meet someone who isn't into writing, art or anything like that. Makes you appreciate this niche that you fell into that is irreplaceable.

May 21, 2024 - Response and Motivation

Probably what fundamentally killed me from continuing to draw Take to Heart is that I basically already told the entire story to an audience before I even started drawing it. I got 30 people, individually and at separate times, to read the script. Friends, strangers, etc. People really, really liked it. It even made some of them cry. I basically told the story.

And for two years, I continued drawing the comic, but it never got the same engagement and love as it already did with those 30 people.

With The Coarse Curse, I never got anyone to review the script. I’m going in completely blind. If I write a bad scene, I would never find out unless someone really hates it. But that’s peanuts compared to the love and praise I’ve gotten from it over the months. Consistently, new people have privately messaged me saying how it’s been the comic they’ve been looking for and that it has resonated with them deeply.

I’ve mentioned it many times, but it was supposed to end with Episode 1. The story wasn’t supposed to continue. Luckily, with enough time, I grew closer to these characters and figured out a way to make it three episodes in a way that is cohesive and fundamentally sound. I wouldn’t have tried to figure it out at all if it hadn’t received all the love it did.

Now it’s the most fun I’ve had working on a comic since the four to six months I spent writing Take to Heart.

December 28, 2024 - Combatting Burnout

I recently came across some mind opening advice about burnout recently.

To summarize: we are always afraid of being bad-- but that's the thing, once we accept that we are bad, we can just keep going. "I am bad let's keep going". Burnout happens because our goal is to be essentially perfect while also having the immense fear of being dogwater. If you keep going, and know it's absolute arse, that's already much more progress than trying to start perfectly. And that's the thing--we KNOW we are a lot better at being critics to others and to ourselves than creating, so why not use that as an advantage? Create as much as you can from your heart, not worrying if it's bad and then the next couple of quality passes will feel like a breeze. You're still doing quite a lot of work without the fear that comes with it.

TLDR: While in burnout, you'll feel like a talentless slob-- but you're also an evil petty critic. You can use those two to beat the crap out of your burnout in a beautiful internal whirlwind of chaos. Create terribly, and judge immensely; and you'll do more work than overthinking on how to start perfectly.

A better way to look at this is realizing you can always write or draw anything and not hate it afterwards if you hate it enough and love art enough.

Basically, write/draw something that comes up in your head. if you hate it then you'd hate it enough to fix it. if you still hate it, the cycle continues and eventually if you love good art enough more than you hate your work, it'll be good art itself.

January 2, 2025 - AMA #1

What inspired you to create each of the main characters?
Most stories follow tried and true character archetypes. The Coarse Curse, while going for a more grounded and realistic characterization also does it as well. Much like my other comic, Take to Heart, I wanted to lure in the reader with something familiar and then slowly and gradually give them a better depth to each of the characters. Leah was introduced as the Childhood Friend, Conventional Love Interest, Agoro was introduced as the Enabler Friend, Unconventional Atypical Love Interest. The real heart comes from inserting all the stories that I've went through and putting it into them; making them truly resonating as everyone else had to at some point met the same types of people. The friend that has the power to uplift others but can't uplift themselves. The friend that is too afraid to make a big decision and is fine staying content

What was the initial inspiration behind such a unique premise for the genre?
Technically there is none; it just eventually formed in trying to attain a goal I've been wanting to do with adult comics. In short, I wanted to make an adult comic that I've been wanting to find. Something organic, naturally human, has a heart to it, sex positive and resonating in some way. This is a medium that is barely reached its potential and I'm only just one of the people that have tried.

Long answer: I technically have two answers for the first episode; the pilot and why it continued. I wanted to commit to the medium of nsfw comics using my writing style and artstyle. I wanted to make a nsfw comic that I would read; something that feels geniune, organic and human -- not written and drawn to just be smut (but you can still treat it as such, as is still a tribute to them) I wanted to pay homage to the porn comics that are actually good-- by giving them the respect they deserve and while also poking fun at the ones that don't. Which then lead to the whole concept of "Would a NSFW comic be just as good as a slice-of-life?" and then everything else happened from there.

What is your favorite way you have started a project, What keeps you inspired the most to write?

In a funny way, the only ones that I had fun starting are the ones that ended up being hyper-efficient in production which are Ephemeral and The Coarse Curse. With these two, I had a plan: I came up with a low effort workflow and artstyle, a premise, some characters, made some concept art and I started as soon as it feels like it could be a complete story.

What keeps me inspired to write the most probably is the same answer you'd get from a lot of other writers. To tell stories. Just the thought that I'm making someone else feel things just with my work is something truly magical. Plus, with any story comes something from the writer's heart and I get to pour some of mine into my stories. I get to tell a little bit of myself in a way, albeit indirectly. 

How do you write the dialogue to fit your vision? And would some idea change your script/map on the fly?

To answer this requires some small backstory. I've made a couple of comics before The Coarse Curse with various amounts of success. One of the first ones I made was made almost completely improvised. It was a way for me to make it casually and also make it feel natural. Unfortunately, I wasn't as good with writing then and didn't quite grasp how actual great natural dialogue was made. But I did note that I had a lot more fun with it than the next major comic I made: Take to Heart. Which was solely written completely planned out with outlining, drafts, notes, all the good things you expect to do from a writer. But it was incredibly painful in hindsight. At the time, I didn't know how painful it was for me because I didn't realize my fun while making the script was actually from learning while making it. I was looking up everything I needed to know on how to write a story. Take to Heart was my first actual serious endeavor on creating a long story that has a beginning and end. I ended up having a lot of personal events that stopped me from working on it. And I'm glad it happened because it gave me the perspective to stop working on it and write something new. And this time, prioritizing my fun while also using everything I learned from the experience. Which resulted in the Take to Heart sidestory: Ephemeral. The script was made in a week, the comic was finished in several months. And it was a lot of fun. For The Coarse Curse, I really wanted to lean on making the process as fun as it can for myself. So my creative abilities can shine without any roadblocks. There, the super improvised writing has returned-- at least for the dialogue. The arc of the Curse itself has been fully written and I am not allowed to touch it, or else it turns into a mess like my first comics. For the characters and the way they progress, it's all a free-for-all. There's some rough structure to it of course, just for the sake of proper pacing and linear progression, but overall I'm maximizing the fun I'm having with the way I write them. It's good for the reading experience too. Everyone feels very human and organic. As with any writer, I put my mind and soul into being the characters so they sound as authetic as they can be. To truly write any character, you have to understand them to their core. While I have this intricate and ridiculous plot going on, I cannot skip out on making the characters as human as they can be. As for the ideas-on-the-fly part. It goes with making the writing as fun as it can be-- if I think an idea is too good to pass up, I will put it in even if it contradicts an idea later on. I will always be the writer of the story but I look at it like the reader as much as I can and predict how'd people react to scenes. And if I'm smiling ear to ear while writing, I already know I succeeded.

If you were to rewrite TCC1 today, would you change anything? And if so, what would that be? 

It's hard to say. Everything that came from the episode is the result of organic resolution. It was written because those things are what felt like was meant to happen. Even the scene where I do regret adding, the early dream about Leah, ended up being used as foreshadowing for the arc of the Curse; intentional or not. I subconsciously planned out for things to go on a certain way and I did that relatively successfully I think. The only real things I would change are the things I wouldn't have anticipated, like how the comic would evolve to look, more foreshadowing to what happens later on that I wouldn't have thought of then. While writing, it is odd; I'm not really allowed to regret anything. It'd be a sign of bad planning. It happened a lot with Take to Heart, and surprisingly and fortunately, it hasn't happened with The Coarse Curse. Even though I'm leaning towards making the character progression as flexible and as casual to write as possible, I still have a robust linear plot planned out from the start. That way the characters will be in character at all times, while keeping them unpredictable due to the nature of people, and at the same time, the plot is guaranteed to make sense because that's where all the conscious intentionality will fall onto and that I am basically not allowing myself to write any scene that is unnecessary nor will I ever leave holes that would have needed a scene. It's always characters following their heart, while also following the logic of the plot, which is the workings of the Curse.

March 30, 2025 - Contrasting Intimate Scenes

Something I've been thinking a lot about recently is the contrast and differences between the two intimate scenes in TCC EP1 and EP2. One is about “Oh, are we really doing this?” and the other is “Should we be doing this?” At first, when writing EP2, I had this lingering anxiety that it would not at all live up to EP1. EP1 had the advantage of the two not knowing each other, and I could use that as leverage to really show that human yearning for connection while in the fear of being vulnerable. But for EP2, I don’t get to have that. But looking closer, I actually have a lot more to use. How can I make them already knowing each other HURT and not be comfortable? When you already know someone, surely it’ll make things easier, right? Well, that’s already a concept that’s easily exploitable. There’s enough nuance there to explore that makes it as, or even more, human as EP1’s intimate scene. Should it be comfortable? Should you feel safe? Why would you feel comfortable? Is this love or is this lust?

Now, the issue with making intimacy scenes endlessly nuanced and complex is the standard I’ve given myself that the next ones will be as deep and emotionally sound. What makes me proud of making my own “adult comic” is that it’s not at all an adult comic in the slightest, at least not conventionally. Would this limit me to one of these scenes per entry in the series? Maybe. Maybe not. I know I’ll be able to do it eventually. But the standards set do make me evaluate how I’ve set up everything, and they make me cautious. Maybe too cautious.

I’ve accidentally made this comic too good, and it’s slightly stressful to keep up with what I’ve done. But at the same time, the best outputs come from when I’m actively seeking out the most fun solutions to the problem.

May 10, 2025 - Characters Existing on Their Own

There are pros and cons to having characters that feel like they just exist in my head.

Pros: It’s so much easier to write scenes because I can just let them exist. Entire arcs can spawn just from their wants and needs.

Cons: They straight up ruin the plot progression because they might just do things that break everything I’ve set up for the future.

May 12, 2025 - Writing TCC3 and Creative Confidence

I’ve written the first two episodes in the most unconventional way, and here I am stuck on TCC3 because I’m trying too hard to write it in a conventional way, wanting it to be “guaranteed to be good,” when what’s guaranteed to be good is right in front of my face.

I’m in this strange conundrum where, if I focus on making my writing good in conventional ways, I get stuck, and it ends up not actually being good. I’m at that curve in my skill where I have to solely rely on my confidence, and if I trust my instincts, it’ll actually be good. I’ve recently been adding so much fluff and stuff I don’t want to write because “a good story will have these,” but I keep remembering that when I wrote TCC1 and TCC2, I did it in the most unconventional way. It was so easy and ended up being so good.

Instead of forcing people to feel things because that’s how they’re going to feel if I follow this predetermined flow, I have to specifically target what they’re going to feel at specific times, using my own writing style, as seen in the short summaries above. I have to mean what I say, and not just follow a manual.

I vaguely remember the mindsets I had while writing the first two.

For TCC1, it had the possibility of being just a one-off comic for me, so I had to make it stand on its own. What’s the message of a adult comic trying to one-up other comics going to be? Actively try to show what a genuinely good adult comic would be, that it can always be better than what we usually get, and also be a kickass comic that I’d actually want to read. Plus, make it a little funny so I get a little kick while writing it. I didn’t even actually care if the characters would be memorable. It just happened on its own through the nature of that intimate scene.

For TCC2, I wanted to expand on the characterization. Give everyone a scene to shine, and give a really cool twist while simultaneously connecting the comic to the Kerzid Cinematic Universe, knowing I’ll be doing it for the long haul. But then I also thought about what the readers should be feeling during it. “They’re here because they liked the characters and not for the sex.” “They’re here for the emotional and character stakes.” Knowing this, I thought of ways to hurt the expected audience and the returning audience.

For TCC3, the core idea is really good, but I’ve been going about it the wrong way. I have to get back to that thing that makes this series special: me having a good idea of what I want to tell, what I want to say, what I want you to feel. That has not been happening with my current flow. But I’ve written quite a bit that does satisfy my writing style. I just have to get rid of all the stuff that doesn’t and start with a better view.

June 22, 2025 - AMA #2

How does it feel to consistently write peak?

A mix of terrifying expectations and fulfilling reassurance. One hand I am guaranteed to know I'll be writing something good If I want it to be good. On the other hand, I find it difficult to write for fun anymore with the expecations behind me at all times. I wrote Episode 1 and 2 for fun and now I have preconceptions of the quality haunting me at all times that it has actually affected how I go about it. Supporters would know in the writing logs that it lead me to this rabbithole of writing in a conventional way to ensure quality but then I realize that the quality always stems from me making something I want to read and write. But still, it already garnered that high expectation that's always in my mind. I know I'll write peak when I don't think about it as writing peak but being aware that it's "peak" from so many heartfelt positive messages has certainly gave it a lot more weight than I anticipated.

How did Agoro "cross nose" design came to be ?

It's mostly the result of achieving my goals for her character design. She's supposed to be atypical in every sense of the word; atypical love interest, atypical personality and appearance. Something I always like to do in character design, especially for her, is to make them have features you wouldn't expect to be considered attractive. Most of the time, in cartoons or simplified artstyles, a nose you'd expect for someone to be attractive would be something unremarkable, unnoticable; your eyes and lips should tell everything. Agoro's nose is always present, always obvious. It would've been just the line representing the bridge of her nose but then it'd be too flat and boring so I added that horizontal line that represents a little bit of depth variance. This resulted in her very much unconventional design that really stuck around that fulfills all the goals for her character.

How much time do you spend developing characters before you start drawing the environment and/or vice versa, or does it just naturally come to you?

This might not be the answer you expected by I got to know them myself as I was writing! I'm the one determining where the plot goes but I can't just create a character out of thin air, they kinda have to develop their quirks and certain characteristics on their own. There were moments where I felt like I wasn't going anywhere with certain characters and I had to put them to the test by just writing them in situations. Leah, didn't get much of a spotlight because of Agoro which lead to me having to figure out her core character a lot longer. It takes me writing and rewriting certain scenes for me to figure out who a character is. But when I do figure it out, every scene they are in writes itself. They can just exist. I still have to control the pacing and plot progression of course but if a character is solid enough, they can carry the writing process through their existence. So, to answer your question, it only comes naturally to me when they start properly existing as a character. To develop characters I have to see what they're made of, what would they do in certain situations that other characters would act differently to.

Do you think the readers will be satisfied with the conclusion or at least give what the fans were hoping for?

This, in the grand scheme of things, should not matter to me at all. In the end, it should only really matter that I'm satisfied with how it will end. Else, it would all be for nothing and it's just pandering to the masses. If I focus on what the story truly needs then that ultimately results in satisfaction that is more than superficial and surface-level. It has to be what it naturally has to come to and that doesn't always mean what everyone wants. And what I want specifically is to tell a good story -- even at the expense of displeasure.

August 1, 2025 - Cognitive Narrative Evaluation

One of the most fun writer things I love doing and love seeing is the story giving people exactly what they want but not how they want it. Like it is constantly curling the monkey's paw. It's also overall a fun cognitive exercise for the audience while they engage with the narrative. Why were they expecting these things in the first place? Do they want what's best for the story or for the characters or just for themselves? 

January 5, 2026 - Creator Uncertainty

It's kinda humbling and reassuring to know that a lot of these big popular shows kinda just didn't know what they were doing and just got lucky a lot of the time. Breaking Bad was full of unsure decisions mid development; Jesse was supposed to die on s1, Mike wouldn't have existed if Bob Odenkirk didn't get sick. There's also whatever the hell Mr Robot was doing and whatever the hell Stranger things were doing with as the duffer brothers put it "We have broad strokes". Like, I'm basically in the same position as all these big media boys where I also don't know what I'm doing and I kinda just have to push forward onto an idea not even knowing how much it affects the future of the series. Like there is a lot more lenience that I thought there'd be. Stranger things kinda just ignored Season 2. Mr Robot kinda just ignored every episode. If they can get away with that I can definitely get away with all the small mistakes I've garnered.

It's also nice knowing that if I actually do care more than I should then I'd learn more than I would if I didn't. Like how Vince Gilligan took everything he learned from Breaking Bad and basically made Better Call Saul and Pluribus perfect because he's been through six seasons of making mistakes

There was so much filler, loose threads and unnecessary plot developments in Breaking Bad that his new shows feels like every single scene has weight to it. Even the ones that should feel like filler gives so much more underneath the surface.

It's a high standard to get up to and I'm not gonna be at blame if I don't live up to it but it is all reassuring that I can get there and I also don't need to.

January 27, 2026 - Feedback

Every time I ask people why they like TCC, I’m always like, “man, that sounds like a really good comic if only I could read it.” It feels like I need to be reminded that it’s good, because I can never read it from the perspective of the audience. I kinda feel all by myself whenever I write and could never tell if it’s good, and the only real hint that it’s good is the confidence I have in it and knowing that I want it to be good, but a lot of the times it’s not enough and I need people to be specific.

In my years of living on this dirtball, I still forget that I’m purely driven by empathy and that I should just accept that. Every time someone says the comic is “peak” or “really good,” I feel nothing about it. I want to know exactly how they feel while they’re reading it so I can feel it too and definitively know that the comic is worth continuing.

Funnily, if I'm consistently really good, then no one will point it out anymore, but I need people to point it out for me to continue. I’ve been treating this dilemma like imposter syndrome, but it hasn’t been that all along. I know I can make good stuff. I just really, really need to know why it’s good so I know that I’m doing good.

February 13, 2026 - How will this story end?

I wonder if there’s ever any writer, author, creator, or whatever who just straight up says, “The story will have a happy ending!” before it’s even done. I’m guessing, depending on how much it’s made clear, it’ll probably just make people fear a bad ending more. But in the case that it is abundantly clear, I wonder what sort of effect that has moving forward.

Will all tension just vanish?
That also, I guess, depends on what is made clear. It can still be a happy ending, but most of the fan-favorite characters could be dead at the end. Hum hum hum.

I know this has certainly been done: the creator straight up saying, “This ending will satisfy everyone.” Whether or not it was true, that sentiment has been said for different media.

Funnily, I’m kind of in a weird position with endings. I think whatever is the most fitting ending should be the ending, whatever’s been set up by the theme, the characters, the message.

At least that’s what I’m supposed to say and what’s expected of me.

I want to be in the mindset right now of giving whatever sounds like the most interesting ending, even if it makes the least sense. But again, I’m powered by empathy, and it would pain me too much to give an unsatisfying ending. Even if I truly, really like and want this interesting ending so much that I’d change the story itself so it fits, my sense of obligation to satisfy the reader overpowers it.

Since I cannot defeat this part of me that goes up against the reader side of me, I have to concede. I’d have to come up with an ending that won’t piss me off if I were the one reading it and will also scratch that nasty itch all writers probably have for an interesting, unexpected ending, even though it is entirely unnecessary.

It makes me question if this way of thinking is limiting or empowering, an ending gated or fueled by not trying to piss people off. It’s not even that. I cannot bring myself to have an ending that I know would piss me off if I were the one reading it, which is actually a pretty good assessment.

Something to keep in mind, though, is that I’ve seen endings that are tragic but “satisfying,” and that needs perfect execution. Vince Gilligan is a master of that, and I won’t even dare compare myself to that divine being.

Something that’s been bothering me, and that I’ve been wanting to improve in my writing, is adding more character growth through tragedy. It’s really difficult to do, but that beats having only positive reassurance throughout the entire story. Like Kurt Vonnegut always says, “Show what your characters are made of.” I’m currently forcing the story to head toward impending doom, and it’s solely up to me to deal with the absurd writing challenge of making it as good as the slice-of-life bits.

I could always take the easy route and only do my typical comforting, realistic dialogue thing I’ve got going on, but what’s the fun in that? Gotta take risks. The ebb and flow of jiggling my littol brain.

I don’t know if I have a conclusion for this. I suppose it’s to always do what will make you learn the most. Though I’m heavily incentivized not to take risks because this comic is the first one that actually makes me money, I’m still obligated to do it for my soul as a writer.

I am still, in the end and from the very start, writing it how I, as a reader, would want it to go, not expect it to go, but want it to go. It has to be pleasing, but not predictable.


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